She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm having to shit out rocks
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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