Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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