Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
