I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
