her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
