I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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