she was so not down for the gang bang
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
