Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
did i just pee glitter
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize