God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Boobs speak an international language.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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