I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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