I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
