Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
