can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
