"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
