Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
