We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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