why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
