Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize