dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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