i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
