i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
