think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
