would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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