I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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