I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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