Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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