it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
