he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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