we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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