Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
