similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were destined to go to rehab together
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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