please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
