They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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