Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
