im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
