xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
