elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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