I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
