It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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