I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
