i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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