She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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