East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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