I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
honey bunches of taint.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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