Someone shit on the floor
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
