a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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