you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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