Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
