I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
