Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
