You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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