..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
