I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
