i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love having hate sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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