Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
