tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
