is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
