Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
