im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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