i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
