Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
