She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Enjoy the penises
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
