Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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